Let’s rip the band-aid off fast:
Confident people secretly give a f*ck.
But only about three people.
Everyone else? They’re background noise. Like those ads you skip on YouTube.
I wish someone told me this sooner.
For years, I thought confidence meant not caring what anyone thinks. Big lie. Confident people care—but selectively. They guard their f*cks like diamonds in a vault.
Here’s the real, weird, uncomfortable truth they’ll never tell you. Until now.
Let’s crack this open.
1. They Pick Exactly Whose Opinions Matter—and It’s Usually 3 People (Or Less)
They’re not Buddha.
They care—but about exactly three humans. Sometimes it’s their partner. Or their mentor. Or their future self staring back in the mirror.
Everyone else? Doesn’t make the cut.
You’re secretly on this list too. Look around: who are your three?
This is confidence. Ruthless selection. You can borrow it today.
2. They Lowkey Love Being Disliked
I found this out the hard way.
The day someone called me “too much,” I smiled.
Why? Because I knew I’d finally stirred the water. Made someone uncomfortable. Shaken the dead dust of normalcy.
Confident people expect haters. Hell—they like them. Being disliked proves you stand for something.
But they’ll never say that. It sounds arrogant. But deep down, they grin.
Also read: Existential Questions That’ll Haunt You in the Shower at 2 A.M
3. They Purposely Lower Their Standards
They ship junk.
Half-done blogs. Imperfect speeches. Ugly drafts.
Why? Because done beats perfect. Momentum tramples flawlessness. Progress eats polish for breakfast.
Perfection is for amateurs. Confidence is messy and fast.
They know this. They hide it. You should steal it.
4. They Fail Small on Purpose (Daily)
They post awkward things online.
They ask scary questions.
They flirt badly at coffee shops.
Why? Because tiny fails vaccinate the soul. Like a cold shot of discomfort. They train their fear away in secret.
Confidence isn’t born. It’s built in bruises.
But no one brags about this. You should.
5. They Treat Life Like a Weird Private Game
I knew a CEO who treated life like Minecraft.
“Make your own quests,” he said. “Ignore the others. Build your castle.”
Confident people see life this way. A secret RPG no one else plays. Their scoreboard. Their rules.
That’s how they stay sane in this mad, serious world.
They’ll never tell you. You might think they’re childish.
But this secret will set you free.
6. They Fake Confidence Until Their Brain Believes It
Every bold move you see? It’s fake at first.
They pretend. Smile harder. Speak louder. Act bigger. Until one day—boom—the brain rewires.
Confidence is muscle memory. But no one brags about this Jedi mind trick.
“Fake it till you make it” sounds wrong. But it works.
Discover: 10 Tiny Signs You’ve Already Found Your Ikigai (But Ignored It)
7. They Quietly Outgrow People—And Grieve Alone
Nobody talks about this.
You level up. Friends don’t.
They stall. You run. And in the silence, you grieve the old connections that no longer fit.
Confident people know this. They accept the quiet loneliness of growth. They cry in private.
But they never say it. Growth sounds glorious. But it costs.
8. They Secretly Suck at Most Things (And Don’t Care)
At first, they’re awful.
Sucky writers. Clumsy speakers. Awkward creators. But they don’t stop. Or shame themselves. Or pretend to be perfect.
They expect to suck. They smile through the awkwardness. It’s part of the deal.
But you’ll never see this on Instagram.
9. They See People as Temporary Characters in Their Story
Confident people play God. Quietly.
That rude cashier? NPC.
The critic in your DMs? Side character.
They tell themselves this little lie: “These people are extras in my movie.”
It sounds cruel. But it protects them. They laugh while others rage.
10. They Know No One’s Actually Watching You
Here’s the cosmic joke:
No one cares.
They’re not judging you. They’re too busy worrying about themselves—their hair, their flaws, their future.
Confident people know this secret.
That’s why they dance badly. Say weird things. Laugh loud. No one’s filming your life.
This frees them.
It could free you too.
11. They Run Their Life by Silent Private Rules
They’ve made secret commandments:
- “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s no.”
- “I never explain myself twice.”
- “I reply when I want—not when you demand.”
They won’t say these aloud. Too blunt. Too cold. But these rules are how they stay clear-headed while others drown in overthinking.
Want confidence? Write your own rules.
12. They Know Confidence is Just Boring Self-Discipline
Confidence looks sexy on the outside.
But inside, it’s boring:
Early gym mornings. Awkward “no” emails. Writing terrible first drafts. Saying sorry. Asking scary questions.
It’s not fireworks. It’s grind.
But this truth never goes viral.
Suggested reading: 12 Brutally Honest Ways to Be Happier Than You’ve Ever Been (Even If Your Life Feels Like a Mess)
Here’s the Brutal, Beautiful Truth
Confidence isn’t magic.
It’s selection. Failure. Self-trickery. Quiet grief. Boring routines.
It’s choosing discomfort daily while others choose Netflix.
It’s knowing 99% of people don’t matter—and finally being okay with that.
And you? You can start today.
Pick three people whose opinions you actually care about.
Let the rest drift away like smoke.
You are already free. You just forgot.
FAQs
1. Is “not giving a f*ck” the same as being rude or careless?
No. It’s about selective caring. You care deeply—but only about what matters to you. Everything else gets silence.
2. How do I stop caring about strangers’ opinions?
Shrink your “circle of influence” to three people. Train your mind to filter noise. Remind yourself: most people are too self-absorbed to judge you anyway.
3. Is faking confidence healthy?
Yes—as long as you know it’s brain training, not lying. Faking bravery rewires your mind for real courage. Athletes do this. Speakers do this. So can you.
4. Why does confidence feel lonely sometimes?
Because growth separates you from old tribes. You outgrow friends, habits, even dreams. The loneliness means you’re changing. It’s normal. And necessary.
5. Can confidence really be built through micro-failures?
Yes. Small daily risks—awkward texts, scary asks, risky posts—toughen your skin. Micro-fails inoculate you against fear. They build a quiet, unshakeable core.
Now Your Turn
What’s one secret rule you’ll create for your life starting today?
Leave a comment.
Own it.
Don’t let the world write your rules for you.
This is your story. Be the confident villain they gossip about.
Or stay quiet, small, safe.
Your move.
John Emmanuel is a results-obsessed relationship blogger and founder of Top Love Hacks, dedicated to helping you level up your dating and relationship game by motivating you to be in control of your love life.
