5 Noteworthy Rules For A Working Relationship
A simple guide to creating great and functional relationships.
Romantic relationships encompass one of the most significant and beautiful aspects of life. They’re even a source of happiness and fulfillment for some of us.
Yet, finding and building healthy and satisfying relationships is everything but easy. In other words, it’s quite a challenge to find and keep healthy romantic relationships in this current day and time.
The bad news is that we aren’t taught relationship education in school and that might be the reason why most of us suck at love.
The good news, however, is that we can still work towards creating stable and working relationships by living by some meaningful and noteworthy relationship rules.
1. Make your relationship a top priority.
Making your relationship a top priority isn’t only good for enhancing your connection, it also makes sure your relationship doesn’t fall into the ‘roommate syndrome’ i.e it’ll make sure it doesn’t grow out of passion.
Hence, prioritizing your relationship like the way caring parents prioritize a baby they are responsible for and tending to will save it from falling into a parallel pattern of life.
This might not sound like a sexy idea, but a lot of relationships have suffered huge setbacks as they became less passionate because they were taken for granted.
With work, kids, smartphones, TVs, etc, all endlessly vying for human attention, a lot of people end up pushing their relationship aside, ditching their regular date nights, or other traditions.
We all want to be in healthy, happy, exciting, and passionate relationships, yet, a lot of us struggle to put our significant others into consideration and to compromise and set up win-win situations.
But research proves that treating a relationship like a baby i.e making it a top priority will make sure it doesn’t fizzle out and become less passionate.
Hence, if you don’t want to end up in the ‘roommate syndrome,’ you need to check in with each other, avoid being defensive and avoid counter-attacking during some kinds of arguments.
You need to find a couple-time to create a lot of good memories, you need to treat each other with courtesy, sensitivity, and respect, and try to work together as a team to conquer the world together.
2. Don’t be a relationship chameleon.
If you want to keep your relationship healthy and running, you need to be your own original self and not a relationship chameleon.
The rule is simple: Don’t lose your identity by trying to mold yourself into what you think your partner might like.
Instead, be confident in yourself because your true self is what attracts them in the first place.
Most people barely remain the people they were before being in a relationship because their attention is always on their partner and how their partners will look at them.
To keep your relationship healthy and running, you need to be happy with your partner, and you still get to be the same person- no guilt, no lies, and no pretense.
This might include being your very best and honest with your partner. And If your partner rejects you based on what you share with them, sure it will definitely hurt you. But then you’ll find out that both of you’re incompatible, and hence, you can move on and find someone who will love the real you.
Being in a healthy, happy, and compatible relationship isn’t about acting or behaving in the way you think your partner might like. It’s more about being comfortable and free to be who you really are.
3. Communication is an important ingredient.
It’s no secret that poor communication has driven thousands, if not millions of couples apart.
While communication problems are just one of those millions of hurdles people face while navigating romantic relationships, the truth is a lack of proper and effective communication in any relationship will certainly drive the relationship to the dumps.
Making some topics taboo will impair the level of your communication and hence, make things complicated for you and your partner.
And failure to communicate your needs, wants, and feelings while expecting one partner to read the other’s mind is bad for the health of your relationship.
When you’re able to communicate effectively and productively with your partner, it becomes easier to resolve conflicts or disagreements. What’s more, you’ll understand your partner on a substantial and emotional level hence, bringing you closer to each other and strengthening the bond between you.
However, making sure that no topic is taboo and not expecting one’s partner to read his or her mind aren’t the only ways to foster effective communication. It also has to do with listening really well.
Because when we listen really well to someone, we will make her subconsciously become more open, more representative, and even less defensive. Hence, making her feel cared for and heard which, might, in turn, make her listen to us in the same way since listening is contagious. Therefore, making communication even easier.
The two easiest ways to listen effectively are:
- Listening to acquire information and to understand a person or situation without being distracted instead of listening to respond.
- Trying to also view things from the other person’s perspective apart from your perspective.
4. Don’t keep secrets.
Another simple yet increasingly underrated way to ruin healthy, happy, and satisfying relationships is by keeping secrets.
Leaving out important facts or hiding things from your partner doesn’t only ruin relationships. it hides your true identity because your partner won’t know who you are if you keep too many secrets.
Withholding facts or information your spouse needs to know come across as harmful manipulation, deception, or betrayal, which are all toxic to relationships.
However, finding healthy ways to honestly express yourself to your partner is the best way to build a great and satisfying relationship full of trust.
Because you and your partner should feel like you can trust each other completely to disclose everything possible.
Being in a relationship isn’t always easy, but what you can always do is tell or share your secret with your partner as it helps you make better decisions in general.
5. Leaving the past in the past.
How often do you feel you’re being brutally honest when you deliberately bring up past issues?
Maybe quite often.
Here’s the most relevant question: Do you need to dwell on the past?
Do you really need to compare your partner to your ex?
Do you really need to talk about their past relationships?
Do you really need to remind your partner of their past mistakes?
Do you really need to keep a record file of your partner’s past behaviors?
Most insecure people who can’t face the reality and deal with their own emotions endlessly bring up past issues which will only wound, hurt, and break down the other person.
But here’s the truth: you just have to leave the past in the past.
You don’t have to use your partner’s past to punish them. That will mean you’re selfish, unforgiving, suffering from low self-esteem, or avoiding addressing and taking responsibility for your emotions.
Final thoughts.
In a nutshell, keeping your relationship great and working is mostly about the quality and amount of endeavors, commitments, and efforts you put into it.
The easiest ways most of us ruin and harm our relationships is by taking it for granted, losing ourselves trying to mirror our partners, communicating terribly, keeping secrets, and holding onto the past.
You are in charge of your relationship. You can’t let these little but harmful habits ruin your relationship. But instead, you can let go of them and watch your love life change for the better.
We have been impairing the quality of our lives by engaging in habits that are nothing but detrimental to our relationships because Tony Robbins once said that:
“The quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relationships.”
Hence, if you try to live by these noteworthy relationship rules, you’ll be on the best way to lead a more quality life by having a stable and working romantic relationship.
