5 Ways People End-Up Ruining Their Relationships
Small things can have the most terrible effects on our relationships.
Everyone wants to be in a great and satisfying relationship. And even though we all don’t want to be in an unhealthy and messy relationship, the truth is that some of us end up ruining our relationships by ourselves.
Sometimes we do it on purpose. And most times we do it without even knowing it.
Relationships are super delicate and fragile hence, they can be easily harmed by small things.
But what’s even worse is that often, these little things make us terrible partners and hinder our dreams of having great and satisfying relationships.
1. Taking their partners for granted.
Do you ever realize that newer couples treat each other way better than most older couples?
During the early days of a relationship, for instance, they prioritize each other’s needs and wants, they work together as a team in everything including making Friday night plans, making dinner for the week, or even sex initiation, they appreciate each other for every efforts and sacrifice they make for the betterment of the relationship, etc.
But over time, if care is not taken, things will start to become stale and their priorities will begin to change.
This is the reality for a lot of modern relationships: Someone falls in love with an amazing person and feels like he has found a perfect angel that’s made just for him as he is for her.
They want to be the best partners for each other but along the lines, something goes wrong. So, one or both of them no longer sees the charming and attractive qualities they fell in love with in the first place.
You get the point?
Taking one’s partner for granted becomes obvious when there’s little to no respect or appreciation for one’s partner. When one doesn’t seem concerned about the relationship as much as his partner is. When one doesn’t consider the thoughts and feelings of his or her partner when making decisions. I could go on and on but here’s the catch:
Even the happiest and satisfying relationship can become putrid and messy when one begins to take his partner for granted.
The truth is, you deserve a happy and satisfying relationship.
As long as you’re willing to work for it, you deserve to make it a reality and live happily ever after with your “number one.”
But taking your partner for granted won’t make that happen and will only ruin the chance you have to make it happen.
So don’t get lost in some regular patterns with your partner that you’ll start disregarding his or her efforts, contributions, sacrifices, and commitments that should be acknowledged and appreciated.
Suggested reading: 11 Secrets Even the Most Loyal Partners Keep — Are You in the Dark?
2. They hold unhealthy grudges.
The worst way to ruin your relationship is by not forgiving the wrong deeds of your partner and harboring the resentment and anger towards them for a long time — most times longer than usual.
That way, you’ll perceive every wrong thing done to you by your partner as a personal offense against you and this will affect your judgment and perspective because you view them through the lens of hurt.
In extreme cases, you may start to exaggerate the details of the story, or even tell lies to gain sympathy and supporters.
Sometimes pain becomes the identity of an unforgiving partner or partner holding grudges because you cannot live a happy life with a person against whom you hold grudges.
And I can promise that you’ll be better off by just forgiving your partner whenever he or she wrong you because to err is human.
3. Piling up negative emotions.
Maybe you’re not the abusive or cheating type, but you might not be any better if you tend to constantly suppress the negative emotions you have towards your partner until they pile up and maybe explode someday.
Well, if that’s how you want to keep doing in every relationship you find yourself in… You might as well quit the dream of enjoying a happy relationship.
But if you want to foster your closeness and connection with your partner, being open about your feelings can help you achieve a deeper level of intimacy.
As a result, you won’t end up in a scenario where you have been holding back from expressing your feelings for a very long time and you get stung one more time which might not hold much weight compared to the ones you’ve been piling up for long, but you end up losing it like a possessed person amid an exorcism.
Sounds pleasant, right?
Luckily, sharing what’s in your heart with your partner no matter how negative they might be, is the easiest way to make it happen.
Because piling up negative emotions only bring about bitterness, resentment, and paranoia which have dragged a lot of relationships to the dumps.
So next time you find yourself trying to bottle up negative feelings you have about your partner, try to have a heart-to-heart conversation with them and talk things out.
4. They play the blame game.
How often do you and your partner knowingly or unknowingly wrong each other in one way or another.
Let me guess: it’s quite often.
Not apologizing to your partner when you behave in a way he or she don’t like or holding your partner responsible for your recent action is one of the very worst things that can ruin even the happiest relationships.
We usually blame our partners just to gain a quick escape from guilt or we refuse responsibility for our contributions to the problem. For example, let say your partner is late for dinner. Research shows that you’re more likely to think, “well, you did X, Y, Z” than “traffic must have been awful.
The truth, however, is that the “Well, you did X, Y, Z” game is a short-term fix that’ll certainly fail in the long run. It will only make you feel right or justified for your own mistakes at the expense of your relationship.
If you don’t want to ruin your relationship why not try to apologize and make amends? Reminding your partner of something they did wrong in the past is just a defense mechanism for avoiding a reality you don’t want to face. And you’ll end up bringing up a past mistake they might have likely apologized and made amends for.
The worst part is, this will loudly tell them that you are unforgiving and will forever hold onto whatever wrong he or she does. Who would appreciate such terrible behavior from their partner? Neither will I.
Discover: 5 of the Most Awful Signs of One-Sided Relationships
5. Acting under their emotions.
The most underrated way people ruin their relationships is by letting their emotions always take the wheels.
But if you want to communicate better without stress and anxiety, diffuse conflicts easily, and improve your overall relationships, you need to learn to control your emotions.
Instead of reacting angrily to situations where you are intensively provoked, try to take some time to cool off before responding.
Because it will be almost impossible not to be offended or driven crazy by your partner, but it’s how you respond that truly matters.
That’s why you shouldn’t always let your emotions get the best part of you whenever your partner strikes you at a particular nerve as that will only result in unwanted dramas and misunderstandings.
However, this doesn’t mean you should suppress your emotions but not act under their influence. And the easiest way to do this is by taking some time to cool off and process your emotions before responding.
