7 Crystal Clear Signs Your Boyfriend Has A Toxic Ex
#4. Too Much or Unnecessary Apology
As humans focusing and enjoying the present should be our number one priority instead of obsessing over our past. When we don’t leave the past in the past, the present won’t be any better.
But sometimes, the past doesn’t always remain in the past. Past experiences keep hunting us in the present. Even past relationships keep creating problems in the current one.
Especially in a situation where one partner is a victim of a toxic and unhealthy relationship.
And while it might seem as if a toxic relationship victim is free from the unhappiness, pain, and distress caused by such a relationship after it’s over, the emotional damage and trauma might still have some influence on him or her.
If you suspect that there’s more to your boyfriend’s behavior or you wonder if he had been through some sort of traumatic relationship in the past, here are 7 crystal clear signs that will clear your doubts.
#1. Emotional Unavailability
Don’t you think it will be hard for someone who has been betrayed and abused by a toxic partner to open up and connect emotionally, with another person?
After all, they have been through several heartbreaks and all other forms of unspeakable pains inflicted upon them by their toxic ex-partners.
If you do, you’re not far from the truth…
Because it’s natural for someone who has been hurt severely to build up a defense wall that will shield him from subsequent pains and he is bound to tread carefully when it comes to loving another person.
Therefore, if your boyfriend is kind of emotionally unavailable and doesn’t readily open up to you, maybe it’s because he had a toxic ex that has betrayed him in the past.
All you have to do is bear with him and give him some time to heal and recover from his heartbreak.
#2. Lack Of Trust
The fear of betrayal, of being abandoned, or taken advantage of has forced him to have negative reactions towards little and innocent things you do.
If he constantly gets agitated by normal things you do, like drinking out with friends, it’s simply because he had been betrayed, cheated on, and hurt in the past.
Hence, it’s normal for him to find it hard trusting another person as he thinks every woman is going to be like his toxic ex.
So, you don’t have to feel bad that he doesn’t trust you, he was hurt in the past.
Just bear with him and give him some time he will definitely come to trust and love you more knowing full well that you aren’t toxic like his ex.
Also read: He’ll Never Disrespect You If You Do These 8 Things After Sleeping With Him
#3. Struggle To Show His True Self
This usually comes as a result of depleted self-esteem.
If his toxic ex is fond of putting him down and making fun of him, he will definitely cower in his shell of fear.
Fear of being rejected by you, fear of being judged and made fun of, fear of being treated like trash…
Hence, he will be hiding his true self for some time. But if you find your boyfriend struggling with self-esteem issues, you have to do something.
Of course, you can’t force him to change his own self-image but you can at least boost and light up his self-esteem.
How?
By working towards making your relationship more comfortable and judgment-free.
#4. Too Much or Unnecessary Apology
No matter what you might be thinking, too much or unnecessary apologies can be a result of excessive guilt feelings.
If your boyfriend constantly apologizes even for things that have nothing to do with him, maybe it’s because he had a toxic ex-partner who always blames him for every bad thing that happened in their relationship.
That’s why he apologize unnecessarily as he subconsciously believes that everything that happened was his fault and worse, he doesn’t want to do anything that might upset you.
All you need to do is show him that you aren’t his ex and that you’re patient and understanding. He will eventually get over it.
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#5. Surprised By Little Things That Should Be Normal In A Relationship
Almost everybody that has been subjected to some sort of ill-treatment from a toxic ex, is bound to be surprised when they’re treated better than they are used to.
They’re bound to be thrilled about little things you’re supposed to do as a loving partner. In fact, they may even feel as if they don’t deserve the good treatment they’re receiving.
Like earlier mentioned, it’s because he is used to different treatment and you just have to reassure him that you’re also pleased to have him as your partner so he doesn’t have to feel bad or thrilled about normal things you do for him.
#6. Insecurity
When it comes to the biggest signs you’re dealing with a guy who has a toxic ex-partner, is not just right to skip talking about an extremely insecure boyfriend.
It’s undoubtedly one of the first signs a boyfriend who has a toxic ex will show, his lack of confidence and extremely insecure attitudes.
The fear of losing you and fear of you responding negatively to his actions are deeply rooted in his mind that he can’t afford anything going wrong.
That’s simply because he has been forced to believe that he doesn’t deserve any love or any special treatments, that women are just forcing themselves to be with him and he has no choice but to make sure he doesn’t lose them.
However, all you need to do is to truly listen when he is expressing his insecurities and let him know that you hear him, and let him know that his self-perception affects you, accentuating any compassion affects he makes you feel.
#7. Upset By Previous Relationship Talks
For tons of people, it’s relatively okay for them to talk about their exes without being visibly upset.
Yeah, it’s no big deal to talk about an ex besides they’re already in the past. But if your boyfriend seems to be very bitter talking about his past relationship, there’s no doubt that he had a toxic ex.
All you have to do is to pay attention and listen to the toxic habits of his ex then, make sure you avoid doing the same things because he wouldn’t want to experience the same pains again.
Suggested reading: 10 Subtle Yet Powerful Ways to Seduce Your Partner Every Day
Final Thoughts
How often do you wonder why your boyfriend keeps behaving strangely?
How often feel like something was wrong somewhere?
Maybe he’s been hunted by his past. Maybe the misery of his previous traumatic relationship is still leaving with him.
It’s time to give him the support he truly needs. Time to shower him your love. Time to erase his past painful memories.
Come on. Dare to help him force his past to remain in the past so you can both enjoy the present and even build your future.
Don’t let his ex ruin your relationship. Be a supportive and loving partner and he will get used to healthier relationships and realize that everyone is not as toxic as his ex.
