Nobody wants to be constantly overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.
We all don’t want to constantly feel like failures and losers in all aspects of life even when we think of our dating lives.
Yet, a lot of us go about chasing success wrongly by trying too hard to reinvent the wheel and in the process, waste a considerable amount of time trying and failing terribly.
That’s why I do believe in doing the contrary: stealing and trying to recreate the success of those who’ve already achieved what I want to achieve.
So, to be successful with women, I believe I’d save myself a decade of trial and error if I try to walk in the footsteps of the men who are already successful with women.
And when I talk about men who’ve already achieved success with women, I’m not just talking about men who have the power to attract great and attractive women.
I’m specifically talking about men who have been able to form lasting relationships with women based on mutual respect, honesty, and dignity.
With that being said, here’s what these great men do differently compared to the majority of men:
1. They care less about whether a woman likes them or not.
Men who are successful with women know how dangerous it is to attach their worth and value to what a woman thinks of them.
They’re aware that affection is not conditional so they don’t have to fight for it.
They know that what matters most is how they feel about themselves and not how others do.
Whereas, insecure men are mostly consumed by their desires to be liked by women they’re hitting on.
Some of the most common fears great and confident men don’t have are fears like fear of not being liked in return, of not being interesting enough, of not being good enough, and of not being attractive and desirable enough so they are never anxious and stressed about whether a woman likes them or not even if her feelings aren’t clear enough.
This is primarily because what they think of themselves is more important than what others think of them.
That’s why they seamlessly believe they’re lovable, interesting enough, attractive, and worthy of affection as they trust that the right person will not fail to notice them.
For them, the best way to be unhappy is by counting on the reciprocity of likeness from women they like to feel happy and good about themselves.
2. They don’t idolize women.
Men who’ve already achieved success with women are so much more comfortable, happier, and less anxious in their dating life because they don’t idolize women.
They don’t put women on pedestals.
They don’t act or behave like women are golden prices they have to win even though they’re undeserving of the prices.
But instead, they think of themselves as equals with the women they are attracted to or whatever.
That’s because they know that idolization sucks and that a great relationship can only be possible when equals come together. But putting the other person on a pedestal sabotages everything.
As we all know, it’s quite normal for one to feel lucky to be in a relationship with someone he considers amazingly great.
But men who are successful with women know that their partners or potential partners will always be lucky to have them. Yes, that’s how much they love and respect themselves.
I know so many men who have failed miserably with women by putting women on pedestals and believing that women can provide a lot more values to their lives than they can provide on their own thereby placing their perceived values below that of the women.
But the truth is…
No woman would truly desire a man who puts himself below her, who minimizes her to an idea, and worse, who sees her as a price to win because yes, it’s dehumanizing.
A woman needs a real, deep connection with someone and not to be idolized or minimized to an idea based on her looks or something else.
Also read: I’m a Man. And Reading About Vera’s Dates with Right-Wing Guys Was Horrifying—But Not Surprising.
3. They don’t suck at communicating.
As we all know, great and effective communication isn’t nearly as easy as it seems.
Yet, men who are successful with women know that the art of communicating with them, is much more than just conversing logically and exchanging ideas or information but something that has a lot to do with emotions.
One more thing about men who’ve achieved success with women is that they’re fascinating because they have a knack for telling stories.
They have a good sense of humor.
And they’re great listeners as well.
All these and many others make up their excellent abilities to amusingly communicate.
The desire that’s strong enough to elude falling into shallow and superficial relationships with women, can only be built on the foundation of one’s ability to have deep and meaningful conversations with them.
Because the truth is, when you don’t know how to communicate greatly with women, your dating life suffers greatly.
4. They aren’t afraid to fail.
Men who are successful with women know that rejections are completely inevitable and are a normal experience when it comes to approaching, wooing, and winning over dating prospects.
But they don’t have self-esteem issues making it easier for them to see rejections for what they really are.
Without a clear understanding of what rejections truly are, you might not stand a chance in hell of being romantically involved with the women you would have loved to.
Maybe because you dread rejections and don’t put yourself out there up to the point where the women won’t even know you exist.
In this current day and time, many people struggle greatly with self-esteem issues and hence view rejections as a prove of their “unworthiness” of love, affection, or what have you, hence the reason behind their heavy struggle with dating.
But in the real sense, rejections don’t define anyone and don’t in any way act as proves that some harmful, insecurity-driven doubts one has inside of him are right.
Because at the very worst, they’re just like going to a pub in a strange country and discovering that one of the patrons you wanted to connect with don’t like you.
I’m sure you wouldn’t give a damn if you were in that circumstance, right?
That’s why my biggest take on putting one’s self out there is to treat every attempt to shoot a shot at a dating prospect as an adventure and not some competition one can’t afford to lose.
Hence, if you find yourself urging to wallow in self-deprecation and pity as a result of rejection which might poison and kill every willingness to keep trying, remind yourself that it’s just a tip-off that they weren’t meant to be or not interested.
And it’s quite okay because there are billions of other uninterested and some interested women out there.
Hence, it’s another opportunity to find and get the ones that are meant to be.
Suggested reading: Four Relationship Mistakes Most Men Make
5. They aren’t arrogant and cocky.
One thing I’ve noticed is that men who are highly successful with women tend to easily attract women they’re attracted to.
Why? Consider it yourself. When do you think it’s easier to win over someone you’re attracted to?
The odds are great that it’s whenever you don’t try too hard to show and prove how much desirable and worthy you are by being pretentious and boastful. Because yes, who doesn’t like genuine confidence and authenticity?
While men who’ve achieved success with women also feel the pressure to act or behave differently than they normally do around someone they’re attracted to, they don’t give in to the pressure to impress, appear clever and witty, talk endlessly about their accomplishments, social status, success stories, etc.
Because no matter how hard one tries to sell himself or worse, try to fake confidence by being arrogant and cocky, his lack of confidence and insecurity will still be perceived which will make him unattractive and undesirable to women.
Men who are highly successful with women know this.
They also know that authentic confidence is much more appreciated by people in general and not just women than insecurity-masked arrogance, cockiness, and neediness.
So they always allow things flow naturally so that they’ll eventually form an emotional connection with the women they’re attracted to over time instead of pushing overly hard which will ruin everything.
6. They have a life and a vision.
If you’ve already been around some men who are successful with women, you’ll have realized that people generally enjoy being around them since:
They’re greatly fascinating.
They might not have a vision of flying to the moon but they have something they live for.
Yes, they’re great visionaries who just don’t muddle through jobs they hate during the day only to go home later in the day to watch Netflix, play video games, or watch football.
Because they have dreams, goals, hobbies, and a life they pursue unceasingly with or without a woman in their lives.
And like you might have already guessed, this is one of the things that makes them highly attractive and desirable.
There’s hardly any man who have been able to form lasting relationships with a woman or women as the case may be, who doesn’t have a specific standard of living and a standard of how he acts in a relationship, towards his partner(s), and even when he’s single.
The bottom line? Women are always more attracted to men who have a life and can live without them.
It doesn’t matter how much cute you think it is to cut down the time you spend on other things when you’re in a new relationship, abandoning completely the things that mattered a lot to you when you’re single…
Or having nothing to live for at all even when you’re single, and spending every free time you’ve got with your new partner or prospective date will end up pushing her away against your wish.
Yeah, that’s how repulsive it is to lack life and a vision.
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7. They treat themselves with respect and respect others (even women too.)
Men who are highly successful with women know that if a lady doesn’t respect them, they won’t stand a chance to date her, and that to earn a woman’s respect, they need to respect themselves first.
Because people don’t generally think highly of people who have no respect for themselves.
We all know that it’s reasonable for one to be humble, selfless, kind, and nice.
But being too soft and selfless up to the extent that one lets other people define his boundaries, struggle to say ‘no,’ and always put up with whatever shit thrown at him, is nothing more than a lack of self-love and respect for himself.
That’s why men who are highly successful with women, aren’t addicted to behaviors that are simply nothing more than a lack of self-love and respect for themselves and also a lack of knowledge of their self-worth and value.
In fact, they also trained themselves to treat others with respect irrespective of their genders.
Because it will be truly difficult to have a healthy and lasting relationship with a woman if she doesn’t feel respected.
