Four Relationship Mistakes Most Men Make
That simply make relationships unnecessarily complicated.
Everyone wants to be in a great and satisfying relationship. And even though we all don’t want to be in an unhealthy and messy relationship, the truth is that we often self-sabotage our happiness and fulfillment by adopting and displaying habits that are nothing but pointless, energy-depleting, and even unproductive.
And we end up wondering what could have possibly gone wrong, since, um, you know, we think we are putting in our all in every relationship we find ourselves.
A lot of men simply forget that relationships are super delicate and fragile hence, they can be easily affected by small things.
That’s why they end up making these little mistakes that make them terrible partners and hinder their dreams of having great and satisfying relationships.
1. Giving little importance to effective communication.
Do you ever realize that most men tend to lightly converse with their partners once their relationships become steady than when they were new couples?
During the early days of a relationship, for instance, they used to spend hours on phone calls, texts, etc, But over time, when the relationship becomes steady, the guys will feel the need to talk less and less about everything including their feelings or that of their partners as they seem to become too busy, less sensitive, and finds it hard to even listen to their partners.
This is the reality for a lot of modern relationships: A man falls in love with an amazing woman and feels like he has found a perfect angel that’s made just for him as he is for her.
He wants to be the best partner she could ever ask for hence, he tries so hard to know her better and shares his world with her as she shares hers with him but along the lines, once the relationship becomes steady, the need to communicate as much as they did in the early days becomes less in the guy.
You get the point?
When men take communication for granted, they go as far as making assumptions about their partners’ feelings and reading meanings to their partner’s actions instead of asking and talking things out with their partners. Sometimes, they stay silent about their expectations of their partners instead, leaving them to figure it out.
And most times, they tend to keep their feelings to themselves bottling up whatever it is that makes them sad or upset maybe because they think expressing their feelings will make them less manly. But on the contrary, Vulnerability is the real masculine strength.
And the big problem is that even the happiest and satisfying relationship can become putrid and messy when one begins to take communication for granted.
The truth is, you deserve a happy and satisfying relationship.
As long as you’re willing to work for it, you deserve to make it a reality and live happily ever after with your “number one.”
But taking communication for granted won’t make that happen and will only ruin the chance you have to make it happen.
So don’t get lost in some regular patterns with your partner that you’ll start to feel the need to hold back on communicating and sharing your feelings, needs, etc, with each other.
2. Acting needy and constantly seeking approval.
One of the reasons why most men end up ruining their relationship is that they don’t think highly of themselves and believe they don’t deserve their partners so they have to make sure their partners aren’t thinking of leaving them which forces them to become helplessly clingy.
Sure, feeling jealous at some point is totally normal because it indicates the fact that you care about her, value her, and does not want to lose her.
But being too jealous and insecure to the extent of keeping a close eye on your partner, trying to know all that your partner is doing all the time, incessant calling and texting, or even feeling insecure around her attractive friends or co-workers are obvious signs of excessive clinginess and can ruin even the very best relationship.
Yet, most men out of fear of being abandoned by their partners become too clingy which, in turn, result in their biggest fear as it ends up pushing their partners away.
In extreme cases, most guys end up being clingy as a result of their dependence on their relationships for pretty much everything. And their clinginess usually comes from a strong urge to guard and protect what they depend on which comes naturally with human nature and is more prevalent in men. Hence, the more they depend on their women, the more clingy they tend to become.
Most guys even after knowing the dangers of being too needy in a relationship, end up spiraling into it because of jealousy and low self-esteem and mostly end up wondering what exactly is pushing their partners away.
And I can promise you that you might not end up in the same situation if you learn to let go or avoid spiraling into clinginess.
Also read: 10 Undeniable Signs She’s More Than Friends With You
3. Being over-possessive and insecure.
Maybe you might not consider yourself as an abusive, cheating, or downright toxic boyfriend, fiance, or husband, but you might not be any better if you tend to consistently live in doubt, skepticism, suspicion, and uncertainty in your relationship.
Well, if that’s how you want to keep doing in every relationship you find yourself in, you might as well quit the dream of enjoying a happy relationship.
But if you want to make your relationship stress-free and free from unnecessary dramas, avoiding and staying out of the possessive state will ensure that you don’t damage, ruin, or sabotage your relationship.
As a result, you won’t end up in a situation where you blow up your chances of enjoying a happy and satisfying relationship when your woman gets fed up with your trust issues, jealousy, or low self-esteem.
To be more specific, you won’t end up in a situation where you’re consumed by your past experiences and find it hard to trust your woman, or a situation where you don’t think your partner is lucky to be with you and have chosen to do so because you’re an amazing person, so you spiral into the possessive state so as to make sure your partner isn’t thinking of leaving you. And in the long run, ruin your relationship.
Sounds pleasant, right?
Luckily, below are two of the easiest and most effective ways of handling possessiveness:
Letting go of the past even if you’ve been lied to, cheated on, or betrayed in the past, you shouldn’t let your past ruin the joy of your present. Your current partner isn’t your ex and will most likely not be like them in any way. Why not give your present partner a fresh start and yourself a chance to feel better since you can’t undo what’s already done by letting go of the past.
Knowing your self-worth by realizing your partner is lucky to be with you and have chosen to do so because you’re a great and amazing person, you won’t feel any need to be jealous of anyone else they’re hanging out with. And this makes it easier to avoid spiraling into the possessive state which will, in turn, make your relationship stress-free.
By letting go of the past or knowing your self-worth, you’ll quickly realize that being insecure and over-possessive doesn’t make sense and harms your relationship. Plus, it’ll be much easier to let go of the negative feelings you have about your relationship and focus more on being positive.
Discover: 7 Things You Can Do Today to Become More Attractive to Women
4. Not addressing problems straightforwardly.
The most underrated way a lot of men complicate things in their relationships is by ignoring their partners’ subdued attempts to address and solve issues.
But if you want to reduce the number of unnecessary dramas and even arguments in your relationship, you need to learn to address problems straightforwardly no matter how small and insignificant they seem to you.
Instead of dismissing some ‘little’ issues brought up by your woman and telling her that she’s making a big deal out of nothing, try to pay attention and validate her feelings, even if you think they are insignificant or don’t matter much.
Because it will be almost impossible to avoid what you might consider an unnecessary overreaction but is actually a result of your dismissal of her controlled attempts to address an issue earlier on.
That’s why you shouldn’t always turn a blind eye to some things your partner tells you are bothering her because you think they aren’t big deals as that will only result in her making an even bigger deal out of it to force you to address the issue.
Besides, ignoring such kinds of issues also means you’re ignoring her and no one likes being ignored. Hence, If something is important enough for her to bring it up, then it’s important, whether you think it is or not.
