You know what? I wasn’t expecting to feel like this. Deeply concerned, but not surprised.
I read Vera’s account of going on 50 dates with right-wing men—and my heart sank.
The more I read, the worse it got. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was reading about something that’s happening all around us, in ways we don’t even fully acknowledge.
I can’t decide if what Vera did was bold or risky.
But one thing is certain: it’s impossible to ignore the serious implications of it all.
And here’s the real kicker—it’s not just about her. It’s about us.
1. The Reality Is Real – And It’s All Around Us
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t concerned about some of the men Vera encountered.
But let’s be honest: I’ve met them too. And so have you.
They’re not unusual, they’re part of everyday life—they’re sitting next to us at parties, getting too loud at bars, or even just showing up at family events.
These men? They’re the ones complaining about how women are too sensitive, yet somehow struggle with their own insecurities.
It’s the subtle hints. The jokes that make you cringe. The way they act like “traditional masculinity” is the only thing that holds the world together.
You know the type. These men aren’t rare. They’re everywhere.
They act like their rigid beliefs make them better than others. But deep down? They’re unsettled. And that’s not healthy.
And that’s not okay.
The unhealthy attitudes they carry? It’s very concerning.
Also read: Four Relationship Mistakes Most Men Make
2. I’ve Seen This Before – And So Have You
I could feel it when I read Vera’s story.
These guys are not some fringe group—they’re a reflection of a growing issue that we’ve all witnessed.
Strongly rigid views aren’t just about politics. It’s about emotionally immature men who think they need to assert power over women.
It’s the guy at the bar who’s always complaining about feminism.
The guy who only listens to opinions that agree with him.
And the guy who masks his insecurity by trying to appear overly in charge.
What Vera experienced wasn’t an anomaly. It’s the truth, right in front of us.
This is real, and if you’ve been alive long enough, you’ve seen it firsthand.
You’ve encountered these men.
Honestly, you’ve probably tried to ignore them, hoping they’d disappear.
But they don’t.
3. They’re not just dismissive—they’re emotionally struggling.
I’m going to tell you something you won’t hear from the mainstream: These men aren’t just dismissive of women
They’re struggling mentally and emotionally. They’re frustrated.
They’re disconnected. They’re trapped in a world that doesn’t make sense to them anymore.
They believe they’re resisting progress in women’s rights, against progressive ideals, against everything that’s evolving.
Why? Because they’re afraid. Afraid of losing control. Terrified that their traditional role as the “strong man” is slipping away.
The truth is, they don’t even know who they are. They’ve lost themselves.
And when a man doesn’t know himself, he turns that confusion into resistance—resistance to the very things that might push him to reflect.
And that leads to unhealthy behaviors. Not just affecting women—but themselves too.
Recommended reading: 10 Undeniable Signs She’s More Than Friends With You
4. Men, Are We Really Just Watching This Happen?
Here’s the difficult reality: we, as men, are too silen about this.
You don’t have to be a right-wing extremist to see this, to feel it in the air.
But we’re not calling it out.
We see it happening, but we don’t speak up.
Why? Maybe we’re uneasy. Maybe we think it’s just a few problematic individuals.
But that’s a lie. The problem is bigger than we want to admit.
Why are we letting this happen? Why aren’t we calling out these men in our circles?
Why do we sit back and just say, “It’s not me, so I don’t need to get involved”?
If you’re a man reading this, and you’ve never spoken up about unhealthy attitudes around you, it’s time to take notice.
It’s time to start making some noise.
5. Vera Took a Risk. But This Shouldn’t Be a Trend.
I can’t help but admire Vera.
She stepped into a very challenging situation, knowing that some of the men she dated held very rigid views and were emotionally struggling. It took courage—but also a kind of recklessness that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Let’s be clear here: what Vera did was brave, but also highly risky.
She willingly placed herself in a challenging situation.
And as a man, I cannot say enough that no one should try this again.
We need to do better. Men, we need to create safer spaces—not just for women but for all of us.
Vera put herself in that position because she felt it was important.
But it shouldn’t have to be like that.
6. Why Women Are Right to Vet Us Harder
It’s so easy for some men to dismiss and say, “Women are just too picky.”
But here’s the truth—women are right to be cautious.
Why? Because safety concerns are valid. It’s not about political views.
It’s about a woman’s ability to feel safe, to feel heard, and to be with someone who respects her.
When women hesitate around men with these strongly rigid perspectives, they aren’t just worried about arguments over politics.
They’re concerned for their safety and emotional wellbeing. So no, it’s not overreacting. It’s being careful. And as men, we need to step up. We need to be the ones who make it clear that this type of behavior is unacceptable.
Suggested reading: 7 Things You Can Do Today to Become More Attractive to Women
7. This Isn’t About Left vs. Right—It’s About Accountability
The real issue isn’t the politics. It’s the personal accountability we all need to take.
Men need to stop pretending that this issue is something “other men” deal with.
This is OUR problem, too.
We can’t just feel bad for women, or offer sympathy. We need action.
We need to be the ones calling out the toxic behaviors.
We need to stop assuming it’s only a few individuals. We need to start addressing it. The time is now. The time to act is now. Not tomorrow. Today.
8. Stop ignoring these problems.
If you’re reading this and feel uneasy, good.
That discomfort means you’re starting to see the bigger picture. You can’t ignore it anymore.
So here’s my challenge to you—whether you’re a man or a woman: Stop pretending these problems don’t exist.
Let’s stop making excuses. Let’s own this, together. Because if we don’t? This pattern will continue.
And it won’t just hurt Vera—it’ll hurt all of us.
The Final Word
This isn’t just a reflection on certain attitudes—it’s about accountability.
It’s a challenge to both men and women to start owning our roles in this world.
Men, let’s make this world better. Let’s call out the behavior we don’t stand for.
And women, you don’t have to settle for anything less than respect.
Raise your standards. Demand better.
Let’s stop acting as if we don’t see what needs to change. Let’s fix it. Together.
John Emmanuel is a results-obsessed relationship blogger and founder of Top Love Hacks, dedicated to helping you level up your dating and relationship game by motivating you to be in control of your love life.
