I didn’t cry on my wedding day.
But I should have.
Not because it was beautiful. Not because I was overwhelmed. But because every bone in my body was screaming run — and I didn’t listen.
I smiled. I wore the dress. I said the vows.
I lied.
The Ring That Didn’t Fit
You know how they say a woman knows when she’s in love?
That’s true.
But what they don’t tell you is that a woman also knows when she’s settling. It’s a quiet knowing. The kind that sits at the back of your throat, like a prayer you can’t speak out loud.
Tunde was everything on paper. Steady job. Sharp dresser. Attentive. My mother adored him. My friends said I was lucky.
And I tried. God knows I tried to feel the spark.
But love isn’t something you can force, no matter how tightly you hold it.
A Stranger in Lace
The morning of the wedding, I stood in front of the mirror.
My makeup artist called me a vision. My dress clung to me like a second skin. I looked like a bride out of a Pinterest board.
But inside, I was folding.
My sister noticed. She asked if I was okay.
I smiled.
I said, “I’m just nervous.”
She believed me. I almost believed myself.
But every step I took toward that altar felt like betrayal — not just of Tunde, but of the girl I used to be. The one who believed in butterflies. The one who wrote love letters to boys who never read them.
I wasn’t her anymore. I was a shadow in white satin.
The Vows We Never Meant
Tunde held my hands.
His palms were warm. Steady. Familiar.
But he didn’t know me.
Not the real me.
He didn’t know that two weeks before the wedding, I had coffee with Seyi.
Seyi, my first love. My almost.
He asked me, *”Are you happy?”
And I couldn’t answer.
Because how do you explain the ache of loving the wrong person with your whole heart?
How do you confess that you chose comfort over connection?
How do you admit that your wedding day feels like a funeral?
When the Music Died
They played our first dance song.
Luther Vandross. “So Amazing.”
I used to dream of dancing to that with someone who made my knees weak.
But in Tunde’s arms, I just felt tired.
It wasn’t his fault.
He loved me the only way he knew how. With structure. With logic. With lists and plans.
But I needed chaos. I needed poetry. I needed the kind of love that made me forget how to breathe.
And so, when the music ended, and the guests clapped, I felt more alone than ever.
The Honeymoon That Broke Me
We flew to Cape Town.
The views were stunning. The food, divine. The hotel room, luxurious.
But each night, I turned away from him.
Each day, I counted down to the flight home.
One night, he asked me what was wrong.
And I said, *”Nothing. Just tired.”
But in truth, I was grieving a life I would never have. The one where I waited. Where I trusted the universe. Where I believed I deserved the kind of love that set fire to the rain.
Three Weeks Later
I packed my things.
I told him I was leaving.
He didn’t shout. He didn’t beg.
He just looked at me and asked, *”Was it ever real?”
And I said the hardest truth I’ve ever spoken:
*”It was real. But it wasn’t enough.”
He nodded. And I saw the tears form, but he didn’t let them fall.
And when I left, I cried. Not because I was heartbroken.
But because I broke someone good.
The Freedom of Falling Apart
I moved into a small apartment with peeling paint and no curtains.
I slept on a mattress on the floor for months.
But every morning, I woke up and breathed.
Really breathed.
I started writing again. I painted. I walked barefoot. I sang off-key.
And one rainy night, I saw Seyi again.
He didn’t say much. Just held my hand.
And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t flinch.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is leave.
Even when you’re wearing white.
Even when everyone is clapping.
Even when love doesn’t look the way you imagined.
Because true love… it starts with honesty.
Even if it breaks a heart.
FAQs
1. Is this based on a true story?
It’s fiction, but it’s real for many women who marry safety instead of passion.
2. Why didn’t she just call off the wedding before?
Fear. Shame. Expectations. We often act against our gut because we fear disappointing others.
3. Was Tunde a bad guy?
Not at all. He was kind. Just not the right fit. That’s what makes it more painful.
4. Why bring Seyi back into the story?
Because life circles back sometimes. Not as a fairy tale, but as a quiet reminder that not all endings are forever.
5. Is it wrong to leave after marriage?
Wrong is marrying someone you don’t fully love. Walking away is hard. But staying for the wrong reasons is harder in the long run.
Now Your Turn
Have you ever stayed in something that looked right but felt wrong?
Or walked away from love because it didn’t feel like enough?
Share your story. Or your silence. Either way, you’re not alone.
Bold takeaway:
A wedding doesn’t make a marriage. And love isn’t worth it if you lose yourself.
John Emmanuel is a results-obsessed relationship blogger and founder of Top Love Hacks, dedicated to helping you level up your dating and relationship game by motivating you to be in control of your love life.
