Emma had been in love with this amazing guy she met almost four months ago. And until recently, they’ve been so great together that she considered him her Mr. Right.
Because right from day one, he swept her off her feet. And made her feel things she never felt before. But a familiar situation recently happened. Leaving her in doubt as she was just wondering if she even know him.
She caught him blatantly lying about something in a way that seriously got her scared. That’s when she recognized a pattern: the endless promises that he never fulfilled. Commitments he never honored. And even the many times he acted out of sync with his words.
A few days later, she forgave him as he promised to be more consistent, reliable, and honest. Well, he never fulfilled that promise too until they broke up.
And the truth is, if she had given much thought to his behaviors at the beginning of the relationship, she would have saved herself the time, energy, and even pain the relationship had caused her.
People like her ex, are just like that. They’re easily recognizable. But if you’re oblivious to the warning signs, they’ll end up breaking your heart, shattering your ego, and frustrating the heck out of you.
That’s why I’ve put together this list of five types of men a woman will always regret falling for in the first place.
This knowledge might save you from staying too long with the wrong man or help you avoid one in the first place.
1. A man that pressures you to change your appearance.
When your partner is directly or indirectly critical of your appearance. Or is always pointing out what he doesn’t like about your appearance, they’ll eventually make your life a misery. That’s if they’ve not already.
Because the truth is, this type of partner won’t only hurt your feelings with their incessant cynical attacks on your appearance. But will always leave you feeling unattractive, unlovable, and like a piece of trash. Of course, all these will leave your body image heavily defeated.
Now let me clarify something. If your partner is only expressing his preferences about your looks or appearance. And it’s something you’ve been considering changing regardless of what he says, then, maybe that’s a different case entirely.
I used the word “maybe” on purpose. Because if his expression of preferences ever feels like he’s convincing you to change, then, It’s a red flag too, whether it’s what you’ve always wanted to change or not.
Because I believe that a healthy relationship with a genuinely loving partner is one in which love isn’t conditional on what you look like. Hence, If your partner even goes beyond pressuring you to make changes about your appearance that you genuinely don’t want to make.
Worse, if the change is about something you’re insecure or sensitive about (because we all have few things if not, lots of things we are insecure about in our bodies), you’re most likely in the wrong relationship.
And the worst problem about these types of partners is that even if you agree to drift away from your authentic self and try to live up to their ideal, the relationship will most likely crash. And if it doesn’t, you’ll unhappily remain in something that’ll often leave you unrecognizable to yourself.
That’s why you should often look out for a relationship with a man who’ll love you unconditionally, for everything you are, and not what he wants you to look like.
Hell, you should be with a man whose love and admiration for you is beyond looks or whatever. And is down for building and nurturing a relationship that’s grounded in mutual acceptance, love, respect, trust, and understanding.
Because only with such kind of a man will a happy and satisfying relationship be feasible.
Read Also: 7 Insecure Habits That Makes You a Terrible Girlfriend
2. A man that can’t let your past be in the past.
Instead of focusing on making the best of the time you share as a couple, some men will frustrate the heck out of you thanks to their obsession with things that happened before they met you.
He might probably be obsessing over your past sexual or relationship histories out of an unhealthy attachment style or mental health issue. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t challenging to deal with someone who just can’t get over your past.
And at the very worst, if this defines your current partner, and all he does about your past is brutally make you feel guilty about whatever might have happened in the past. Then, maybe you shouldn’t have been with him in the first place.
The former, though shouldn’t be excused and can also spiral into the latter, is manageable and can be salvaged by reminding him of his worth in your life or through therapy.
While the latter depicts a highly judgmental and immature man who’s most likely been going around judging all the women he has been involved with like he’s some saint who’s all righteous. Such a man isn’t worth your time and effort.
Because the truth, as we both know, is that a partner that loves you will accept, respect, and love all of you including your past. Because he knows the full time that it’s those same past experiences that have shaped and molded you into the person you currently are. Likewise he and every other person.
You might also like: 10 Subtle Signs You Are A Great Girlfriend
3. A man that finds it hard to accept the “embarrassing” things about you.
This pretty much sounds like an overall summation of the first two points above. But it’s equally important to spell this angle out. So here goes:
If it ever feels like your man finds it difficult to accept your strengths and even most “embarrassing” weaknesses, it’s likely because of a few different reasons.
Firstly, it’s probably because he’s still stuck in the scars and pond of his past relationships. Thereby making him look out for a mirror of himself in a partner — as he subconsciously continues to size up his partners or prospective dates based on his past experiences.
Secondly, he might lack the awareness and maturity to understand that the heady chemicals of a new love that’ll always make a new partner seem like a spotless, perfect person, will always wear off. And as a result, will reveal everyone’s true behaviors, habits, personality, and even annoying or embarrassing quirks.
Worst of all, he might be so shallow and lack the self-awareness to understand that loving someone means loving, respecting, and accepting even their idiosyncrasies.
And neither of these are valid reasons to excuse someone who’s hell-bent on getting you to change your behaviors or even molding you into something they want.
Because a truly loving partner should know that both the things he likes about you and the ones he even finds embarrassing are inextricably linked like two sides of the same coin.
Hence, he’ll know very well to accept, respect, and even be much more patient with your natural forgetfulness, struggle to be on time, or even your toxic family member.
Because let’s face it: We are all products of the energy within us. And I like to think of these energies as some poles or coins with two equally opposite sides.
So, the same energy that creates the side of someone you like, is the same energy that’ll create the side of them that you don’t like much. And we are normally supposed to accept them as they are, or let them be.
Read also: 9 Habits That Will Help You Attract The Right Men Into Your Life
4. A man that somehow urges you to abandon your friends or lose yourself in the relationship.
One of the surest ways to be unhappy in life is to find yourself in a soul-crushing and even embarrassing situation where you’ve completely drifted away from your friends, hobbies, and interests after some time into your relationship.
No, I’m not talking about a situation where you willingly gave up or abandoned your friends, hobbies, and interests because you wanted to fit in and be accepted. Although, this is actually a huge mistake to ever make.
However, I’m talking about a situation where an inconsiderate, boundaries buster of a partner directly or indirectly nudges you to quit the regular girls out tradition you normally have with your friends. Your Hobbies. And even interests that mean a lot to you before you got together. Maybe because of his insecurities or anything else.
The truth is, succumbing to the pressure and cutting ties with your friends, hobbies, or interests like changing your appearance (point 1), will mean losing yourself to feed his insecurities or whatever. And I assure you, you won’t ever be happy in such a partnership.
Hence, if you truly want to be happy and satisfied in a relationship, you should look forward to being with a partner who’s secure and trusting enough to let you be who you were before he came into the picture of your life.
Because the truth is, that version of you, with your friends, hobbies, interests, goals, dreams, and everything that makes you is what he fell in love with.
Hence, he’ll even be the one encouraging you to keep doing those things that matters to you before meeting him. Of course, as long as none of the things you do will really jeopardize the relationship.
5. A man whose judgmental nose inhibits your sexual satisfaction.
We all want to be in a relationship that can be as satisfying to be also described as sexually satisfactory.
And this directly implies that our partners should in their own little way play significant roles in making sure we are sexually satisfied.
Because sexual satisfaction, even according to MedicineNet is often associated with higher levels of love, commitment, and stability in a relationship. Plus a lower divorce rate in marriages.
That’s why I kind of think it’ll almost be like a hell on earth to be with a partner with whom you can’t be yourself in the bedroom. Because whatever you do or say about what turns you on and fascinates your satisfaction isn’t free from judgmental reactions.
The thing is if it ever feels like you’re unable to ask for what you want sexually. Not because you suck at communicating your needs, but because your partner isn’t mature enough to make it easier, what’s the point of being in the relationship in the first place? Such a relationship will certainly be one hell of a constant disappointment, right?
John Emmanuel is a results-obsessed relationship blogger and founder of Top Love Hacks, dedicated to helping you level up your dating and relationship game by motivating you to be in control of your love life.